Being Grateful... Simplicity Explains It...

Today was a pretty good day.  It started like any other day.  I woke up late.  Story of my life.  Damn.

I forgot I had to take Paul to work today b/c I needed the car.  So he comes in 20 min before he has to leave and says...  So I guess you aren't taking me to work?  I fly outta bed... OMG I FORGOT!  And a few expletives leave my mouth as well, but we will leave those out :)

I am flying thru the house, getting kids up and dressed, getting myself- well, DECENT to leave the house (this include undergarments and a coat of powder and mascara and hair pulled in a pony).  Kids amazingly get up and dressed with NO FIGHTING!  That is so unheard of in our household!  I was so thankful for a great morning even if it was super duper rushed!!! Anyways, so we all get out the door at 7:04 am (4 min late but still good!).  He makes it to work ON TIME (YEA!) and to make a long story short- Madison makes it to school and Emily and I make it home to get ready (real ready) for our morning!

We get ready and head to the grocery store (before 9am!  another unheard of moment!).  We are going thru getting all the needed groceries for Emily's party Friday!  Stuff for cupcakes, fruit kabobs, veggie tray, finger sandwiches, homemade brownies, chips, drinks, etc.  And then... in the dairy section...  I see something that makes me to happy!  I exclaim- Oh my Gosh- It's here!!!!   (pretty loudly!) It was my all time fav coffee creamer!  Peppermint Mocha.

I know, I know, what is so great about this?  Well, IDK- it's just my fav and  I was so happy!  It is when I can feel like I'm ready for the holidays!  It is like Christmas in my coffee mug!  The smell, the freshness of the mint and the warmth of the mocha and then the AHHHHHHHH that comes after that first morning sip!

After getting home and having that AHHHHHH moment with my holiday in a cup, I think about life.  It's the little things I really am grateful for!  I'm grateful for this creamer!  It makes me happy every time I wake up- I just wanna have a cup of coffee before anything else to start my day off happy!

But of course I'm grateful for much more than creamer and coffee!  I'm grateful for so many things, big and small.  I am thankful everyday to wake up and have my family, to have 2 very intelligent, gorgeous daughters, the most amazing husband I could ever ask for, an amazing family back home in MS and the family in UT!  I'm thankful for the few people who are my very best friends!  Also, for the great opportunity to be able to travel to places most people dream about.  I am grateful for the experience the military gave me, but I am also so grateful to be out and to be able to actually spend time with my family!

I am so very thankful for Paul being awesome at Madison's weekly math problems!!!   I don't understand most of them, especially this week's 3-d one... and here he is- helping Madison!  He is so awesome with them (and that is something to be so very grateful for!).




I am so grateful for the ability to put a smile on people's faces either by talking, baking or just being my goofy self.  All of the material things we own are beyond nice and that is always something to be thankful for!

And I am grateful for the little things that make me smile.

I try to capture it with pictures lately...

Sometimes it's baking and sometimes just scenery!  But it never fails to make me smile and feel at ease.

I know there are probably many things I didn't mention, but all in all, I am grateful for the things, people and experiences life has presented.   So many times we fail to focus on what we have and what we are grateful for- instead we focus on the negative.  So if you are reading this, stop and take a minute to be grateful for what/who you have in your life.
And in those moments of negativity, try to focus on this- the small things (and big things) you are grateful for.  Because I always like to say- There is always someone worse off then you- so it isn't that bad.  And like the Bible says- He will never put more on you than you can handle.

Stay positive, stay thankful and stay happy :)

Loves to all-
Katie

Bored...

im bored and i don't feel like typing correctly tonight lol.  I'm laying in bed right now and can't sleep.  i know why...  its because i worked out too late tonight and my body and brain are still in hyper mode.  yay.  its 10 pm my time and well, of course the house is quiet!  so quiet that my fingers hitting the keys on my macbook sound so loud.  I'm trying not to wake paul.  lol.

so tonight's workout was another round of pure cardio!  and i loved every minute.  well, except the minute that i went to swipe my towel to catch my sweat and ended up slinging my iPod across the gym room floor.   yeah.  the towel caught the cord and *ffeewwwwmmm** there it goes, lodged itself right up under some lady's treadmill.    

I had to ask her to stop so I could grab it.  She looked at me like she might-a been "bitches be crazy"...  but then she helped me.  and i got it back.  oops.  sorry. 

anyways, other than that- workouts are going great.  i am down 3.8 lbs and counting.  you know whats funny.  i hated, dreaded absolutely could not stand working out while i was in the military.  i just freaking hated it.  dreaded pt and tests.. just ugh.  and now- that I'm out and i don't have anyone telling me i HAVE to do things a certain way- i am enjoying it!!!! like for real!  woot woot!  

hmmm  ok enough about working out.  what else...  

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ok i can't think of anything else right now :) so i guess i will close.  hope everyone is having a good day/night.  

loves to you all (minus a few of you- you know who u are) hehe

Katie

Getting Healthy- Not Skinny

So today is a new beginning.  Yeah I know I've said this before, but this time is different. I am on my way to a new me- a new me without gimmicks like HCG, fad diets, etc.  I am working out on a regular basis and actually enjoying it!  What the hell?  Enjoying it?  Yes!  
It started out with Zumba.  My friend Arden and I were nervous, but we wanted to try it b/c not only did it look like so much fun, but also looked like a good workout!  Yes it was.  From day one, we were hooked!!!!  We have been 2x a week now for about a month.  I even bought a multi class pass!  
So over the last week, after I leave Zumba, I think, man, I still wanna work out, I'm actually excited to workout.  So I decided to add in 2x more workouts a week.  I needed to start slow b/c too many times I have jumped in - balls to the wall- and done too much too fast- which with me- gets me burned out fast and I give up (oh how many times this has happened!) or I get hurt and quit.
So nice and slow...  We did 2 classes a week (Tue & Thur) for a month and today was the start of my additional 2x workouts (Mon & Fri).  I'm starting with 45 min of cardio with a 5 min warmup and 5 min cool down.  Today went great.  I felt like I got in my zone and worked it!  441 calls/ 4.1 miles/ 40 (workout) minutes later and I was drenched and feeling accomplished!  

My goal is yes to lose weight, but not to be skinny or look like a model- hello- I;m almost a 30 yr old mom of 2, wife and full time student.  I don't expect my body (after what I've put it thru) to look like I'm 20 again!  But I can be healthy!  My overall goal of how I see things is- I don't care how much I weigh (within reason), I wanna be able to fit into certain clothes and look nice.  I want to have my curves, I want to look nice, healthy and curvy, b/c I am a woman.  
I used to think- I just wanna be skinny, I wanna do this or that or be like so-an-so.  No, I am me.  And I'm ok with that.  I am loved for who I am.  So, with that being said...  I am on my new found road.  A road that expands the mind, a road that clears my previous "I can't" attitude, a road that is going to be anything and everything I want it to be from here on out.  
It IS all about attitude.  You can do ANYTHING and get ANYTHING you believe in and set your mind to. If you dwell on the negative, that is all that will follow you.  But dwell on the positive and believe in the positive and it will happen!  
If you need help understanding this- watch The Secret and really listen.  There are a few of you out there I KNOW this can help!  
Loves to all!
Katie

Lions- Tigers- and... CREEPERs... Oh My!

Well, last weekend Paul and I and another couple took all the kids to the Wilhelma Zoo in Stuttgart (http://www.wilhelma.de/).  It was a beautiful weekend!  The air was warm and inviting, the skies were blue and the kids were all excited (ok I was too).  This zoo is the biggest in Germany and has a good rep for an awesome family day trip!  


So the day starts out with a 2 hour car ride...  an hour to find parking... but hey- they kids aren't fighting!  So WIN!  We found parking and it wasn't too far away (another WIN), we pay and go in!  Looks cool so far!  Since it is lunch time by now, we stop and eat before getting to far away from food and pottys!  


Now... we are on our way!  We see birds first...  more birds...  and more birds!  Then monkeys...  Holy monkey!  Germans must love these things b/c I've never seen so many exhibits dedicated to monkeys and birds!  


After about 30 min of monkeys and birds we start seeing other animals- YAY!  And it is at this point I notice something.  Well, this guy...  He just smells horrible.  Super bad BO and I turn to leave and see him.  He is wearing a white collar shirt and jeans with a belt, brown shoes, has a blue backpack and a camcorder.  His clothes look like they haven't been washed in about a week and he had been playing in a dust bowl.  His hair and hygiene left me feeling dirty just for standing by him.  He gave me the creeps.  I told the kids to c'mon and we went to the next exhibit.  


I didn't really pay him or the situation much attention...  He was alone and I thought he was just another person (just dirty) enjoying the zoo.  Well about 30 min later, I noticed him again.  Close to the kids as we (parents) were about 15 ft back letting the kids up front to enjoy the animals...  I thought it was strange to see him again in such a HUGE zoo.  


Then it got even creepier.  I saw him at every exhibit we stopped at.  When we stopped he would either stop too or act like he was walking in a different direction (away from us) and then come back when we started moving.  


He would stand close and far at times.  I just made sure to keep the kids close.  Then I noticed he started using the camcorder.  Just pointing it around and all.  I couldn't tell what  he was filming, but it was always in the direction of the animals (and the kids).  


Finally, I told Paul.  I was really getting creeped out.  We had been being followed now for about 2 hours.  And it wasn't like we were running into him on accident or vice versa.  His deliberate actions, eye contact and movements were no accident.  He was following us.  


We started making odd moves, turns and basically going in a circle, going down a wrong turn and backing up just to make sure I wasn't crazy (and to see if he really was following).  Yep, every move we made, he followed.  WTF dude!  Now I am freaking a lot.  I tell my friend Arden...  We take the kids to the big cafe towards the entrance.  Get them ce cream and us coffee..  Guess who decides to walk by.  Yep!  Then we sit in a glass encased room... and Mr. Creeper sits down outside the room facing us so he can see us.  OMG.  At this point I wanna be hysterical.  I want to go ask this dude WTF his deal is.  Paul and Arden hold me back saying it isn't a good idea especially if this guy is crazy or delusional.  


We finish out treats and Jay (Arden's hubby) says- go to the gift shop.  There is only 1 way in/out.  We mingle around some stuffed animals while the guys go talk to a zoo worker to try and find the zoo po-po (police).   I ask Arden- do you see him.  Madison says, that guy behind you thats been following us?  I turn and he is RIGHT BEHIND US.  I freak the hell out as if there was a giant tarantula on me (I hate spiders).  I ask Arden- what do you think he wants?  She says that we have 4 gorgeous daughters and he probably isn't after the adults.  This made me so scared.  And then I got mad.  I was thinking of everything I could physically do to protect us.  Thinking ok, there are 2 dude, 2 women and 5 kids (4 girls and a baby boy).  


Then the guys come back and say we need to head to the exit and talk to the guard people there.  We do and then we don't see Mr. Creeper!  I bet these folks thought we were making it all up.  Ugh!  4 hours of being followed and video'ed and scared and then he is gone.  


We had a 1/2 mile to walk to our car and the whole way, one guy was in front and one in the back, watching, waiting to attack this creep!  But he was gone.  


That night, getting home, getting kids in bed, reflecting on the day, I got scared in my own house! Even though it is on an AFB.  It took me 2 hours to fall asleep and all i kept thinking was if someone ever tried to hurt my family- without hesitation, I will kill them.  No doubt.  


In closing, my quote for this experience is this one (modified a tad) from 
Miss Congeniality- Gracie Hart: And if anyone, anyone tries to hurt one of my new friends (FAMILY), I would take them out. I would make them suffer so much that they'd wish they 
were never born. And if they ran, I would hunt them down. Thank you!


So just remember to keep your kids close.  Creepers are everywhere and anywhere.  Parents are more free- teating their kids go off and play, walk to friends', etc and this makes it easy to target.  I definitely am not trying to sound paranoid, but kidnapping isn't going away.  Just be proactive and take precautions...  Kids are precious and life is too short!


I love you Madison and Emily!!!

Giant Shit Balls!!!

ok so, i have to rant a little.  ugh.  im just gonna come out and say it.  some people in life are so insanely immature, rude and just narrow minded.

should i blog about this?  probably not.  do i care?  nope not at all.  do i care who sees this?  uh no why would i blog about it if i did???  and is this directed at someone?  yes all the eff-tards who fit the description below.

i cant even begin to describe how over it i am.  can you please jump off a bridge?  willingly?  or how bout just lay down on some train tracks?  ok this is a bit mean.  but sometimes my blood boils.

when people think they are holier than thou, think that they know everything and bring up the past (oh say like how someone acted almost a decade ago) it pisses me off.  who are you to think you have the slightest clue who i am anymore.  people are capable of change  just because you aren't doesnt mean the rest of us fall into that time warp.   you think you "know" me- you know what i let you see.  you have no idea the person i have become.  you are so closed off in your narrow minded world with your all about me attitude, you cant see past the nose on your face.

who i am is a loving mom.  a mom who would and has done any and everything for her kids.  im a mom who thanks God every day for giving us another day and who prays everynight to be able to wake up in the morning and fight with my kids to get ready.  im a mom who may give in to her kids a bit too much, but would give my life before i let them be hurt.  im a mom who will do anything to make sure they are with me. im a mom who loves her kids more than my own life.  im a mom who goes to every game, every practice, every school outing, attends every meeting for the kids and volunteers time (that sometimes i didnt have) just so my kids know i am there for them.  im a mom who listens to her kids talk, who can read past their words and see into their hearts.

im a wife who is finally a happy wife.  a wife who understands the meaning of unconditional love from her husband.  a wife who may nit pick over silly things (who doesnt), but doesnt want to spend a day without my love.  im a wife who has finally- over a couple failed attempts- found one who i WANT to spend my life with and will do anything and go to any lengths to keep my family intact.   im a wife who early on did not understand a lot, was naive and immature, but over the last decade have come into my own and am proud of who i am and the mom/wife/role model i am.

i am a person who is happy with myself.  for the most part :) i may not be skinny or even thin, but i am happy with myself and my curves.  i may not be working right now, but i am enjoying every minute of homeschooling emmy and spending time with my kids.  i may not be the most beautiful, but i know i am pretty damn good looking for being almost 30 :)  i am ok with not knowing it all bc i know i can and will eventually figure it out.  i am a person who looks at others and thinks how can i help them.  im a person who loves to give back bc people have helped me along the way and i want people to know i am there for them too.  im a person who enjoys a quiet sunset in a rocker (ok that sounded old).  im someone who makes friends with everyone i meet bc i love people.  im a person who doesnt take shit from people and who says whats on her mind- regardless!  its better said blunt than sugar coated.  im a person who can see past the wall put in front by people and can see what really lies beneath.   im someone people trust.  im someone that is honest even when it hurts.

you think you know me, you have no idea.  this is only a scrapping of me.  my true friends and family know me.  you are neither.  i am so sick of the GIANT SHIT BALLS that are spouted from your mouth, it makes me sick. 

all you have are empty promises, empty threats and innuendos that you hang on to praying someone believes them so you dont look like an idiot.  well i have news for you....  too late.

and as far as the comment- people can change...  i have.  proof is in the walk.... and you are all hot gas.

sometimes life may not go as planned or as expected.  sometimes life throws GIANT SHIT BALLS at you and you may not be able to dodge them all (eww) and sometimes you may just wanna say eff it and just stop trying...  but when you stop, look ahead, take a deep breathe and keep on going, giving it your best every day and trying to make today better than yesterday- thats what makes the difference.  i may not have always made the right decisions in life, but i own my mistakes and chose to move on, making myself a better person, mother and wife every day...

so if you dont like me- eff off.  if you think you know me- you dont (i choose who to let in).  if you think you got one up on me- i laugh in your face.  if you dont like my blog, dont read it.  if you get offended or pissed about this blog, then look at your own life and figure out why you are getting so mad.  did i say this was about you?  no i said it is about people who fit into this category...  step back and evaluate yourself.

katie

The Perfect Mommy: A View from Your Daughter's Eyes...

Well this is actually a difficult post to write.  Where to even begin?  Earlier this year, I was in my English 1st Year Writing Class and I had to write a paper focusing on a controversial topic.  I chose mine on dealing with advertising, children and how they have become so sexual, obsessed with their weight and overly mature for their ages.  My title for my paper was "Kid-Centric Advertising: Where are the Parental Controls?"  I focused mainly on the media, celebrities, peers and society in general.  Pointing the finger; they were the main culprit!  And it was "bad parenting" for those not stepping in and getting a handle on children before it was too late.  

Well, much to my surprise- I got what felt like a right hook to my head- for an eye opener.  Never in a million years would I have ever thought I would be a lot to blame for something like this.  So let me back up for a minute and explain what I mean.

Madison is 8 and Emily is 4.  Emily really isn't having an issue right now, so we will focus on Madison.  She has been overall a very healthy kid.  She loves veggies, she likes playing, she doesn't usually sit around and be lazy.  So, it started in 1st grade (she is in 3rd now).  She came home with a chart and telling me all about how they learned what was healthy to eat, what was good for the bones, good for the eyes, etc.  She had a chart that she had to keep track of for a week; writing down everything she ate and how many veggies, fruits, dairy, etc.  I thought it was a bit much, but it was homework, so I complied.

Then she started wanting to go to the gym with me.  She went a few times and did really well.  I had a lot of fun with her.  Then I started my series of surgeries and had to stop.  She got really upset and kept asking every time we passed the gym- when could we go back...  On top of that, the "I can't eat that b/c it isn't healthy" kick was in full gear.  I started to get concerned.  I didn't want my 7/8 year old having a complex already.  So we talked and I told her it was ok and did the whole mom thing.  Still not thinking too much about it being my fault at this point- thinking it was the school's health kick- which I guess started it....

So fast forward to this week.  We have been getting settled here in Germany and I wanted to start working out.  I have gained 15 lbs since I stopped working and I wanna get it off.  So we have been walking to and from school, the grocery store and shopping (all of which are anywhere from 1/2 mi to 3/4 mi away) and sometimes we go 2x a day- back and forth.  Good walking!  And now I have incorporated a circuit workout into my plan.  The girls like working out with me and I enjoy them too- they break up the monotany and give it some spice.  

Well, last night- Madison kept asking if she looked skinnier.  Today at the grocery store we went to get milk.  Well skim to whole milk have dancing cows, whole milk= fatter cow, skim= a super skinny cow.  She opted for the super skinny cow instead of 2% (the middle cow).  Lately she is super concerned with how she looks, if she is skinny, if she is gonna get fat, how her clothes fit, everything.  And she always seems like she is talking about it.  

Tonight, as Paul and I were getting ready for bed, I talk to him about it and how I was kinda concerned.  Here comes the right hook...  He said in his opinion (not being mean at all just concerned), Madison gets all of this from me.  Me?  Yep.  She is concerned with her appearance b/c I have made such a big deal about my weight, how my clothes fit, etc.  I mean now that I am typing this, it all makes sense.  

I told him, well I would think she can see why I need to work out and stuff, b/c I'm chunky and gained weight and I need to lose some weight.  And his answer...  She doesn't see that b/c you are mommy.  In her eyes you are beautiful, perfect, nothing could be wrong with you.  You are who she wants to be.  

Yeah, I wanted to break down in tears.  I didn't see how much of a negative impact my self esteem had on Madison.  I thought "well EVERYONE can see I need to lose weight- including my daughters", when in fact, they never have.  

To them, I am beautiful, fun, loving, awesome, cool, supportive, caring, disciplinarian, meanie, teacher, role model and the best mommy in the whole world.  And as Emmy would say they love me with all their heart!

In closing, my only advice to other moms is this:  don't vocalize your imperfections in front of your kids (if you think you have some).  The do really mirror everything you do!  You are their one and only mommy!  You are perfect in every way.  And now I know I am too- in my daughter's eyes...

I love you Madison and Emily.  And thank you Paul for opening my eyes and making realize they love me as they have me- big or little- I am a beautiful mommy :)

Katie

School Days Are Here Again!!!

So today is the first day of 3rd grade for Madison and Pre-k/K Homeschool for Emmy!  August 29th...  Well, it is kinda crazy!  Madison has to have just the right outfit!  Her hair- she wanted curled, bangs pulled back and crackle nail polish and oh yeah- makeup!  All of which I gave her- minus the makeup!!!

Emmy wanted to be just like sister~  Hair curled, nails done- she picked her outfit and off we go!


We walked Madison to school b/c it is close and we are on base.  She had a blast going!  Excited and nervous about 3rd grade.  Me too!  I keep thinking, where has the time gone? 3rd grade here isn't elementary anymore, which made it that much more harder for me to accept the fact, my kids are growing up.  Here @ Ramstein- 3rd-5th is Intermediate School!

Seeing all the kids out there today (over 900 in the 3 grades), I was a little heart broken to see my little girl all independent.  :(

Emmy on the other hand isn't old enough for PRE-K here,  but she is so smart I didn't want this year to go to waste- especially since she wanted to start so badly.  So Paul and I bought Pre-K and K curriculum books to work on homeschooling this year.  So far, she is whizzing thru the Pre-K book!  And she is having a blast!

It is amazing to me how much Emmy already knows and understands- a lot b/c of Madison and then from the little things I try and teach her.   I know they say kids are sponges, but Emmy is ridiculous!



Anyways, it's almost nap time, which means I get to nap too!  Yay haha!




  I'm so glad the girls enjoy school and learning :)

Katie

Some Kind Of Wonderful

he calls me bella (italian for beautiful- not the twilight crap).  he calls me "my love".  he calls me beautiful.  he calls me baby.  he says i am beautiful while i look a hot mess cooking breakfast...  he says i shouldnt try and hide behind makeup.  he reaches over to hold my hand every chance he can.  he hugs me and kisses me when i least expect it and when i dont even know i need it.  he says he loves everything about me...  even though i may not love everything about me.  


it's hard to think that someone can love you for you and love everything about you- even your flaws...  i dont even love my flaws.  love to me has been tricky.  i have had to learn to love...  i had to learn what love really meant.  the way i grew up (early) i didnt have alot of that.  and i feel it hurt me later b/c i "thought" i knew what love was...  when in fact i let infatuation and lust get the best of me.  


it has taken me (i feel) a lot longer than most to understand real love.  unconditional love.  love that means you would give your all for.  i mean i feel that for my kids, but i think that is kind of innate and a bond anyways.  but to feel a love for someone you willingly had to put effort in to get to know if different.  


i can see why there are so many divorces today.  i have had my fair share in that arena...  but all b/c i didnt know.  b/c i went with what i thought i would be happy with.  and i didnt follow my heart.


alot of people have questioned, my current relationship (marriage).  some early on made jokes, snide comments, even put bets on how long it would last...  well...  all i can say or do to that is smile and say i finally can say i am in love.  i am 150% in love.  i know my track record has proven to be rocky and sometimes down right like a loopty loo roller coaster... but it takes alot to get to know one's self enough to let go of everything and let someone in to love you and for you to love them back.  whole-heartedly.  


people (i was one) tend to hole parts of themselves back b/c they are scare of getting hurt...  but in the end thats what hurts themselves...  in order to love- you have to let go.  give your all.  i know some may think taking relationship advice from someone like me (on her 3rd marriage) would be relationship suicide.  but i think differently.  i have been in bad relationships, decent ones, and "safe" ones.  i think i am the perfect person to give advice b/c i have been there.  and i now know what it takes to find a good one, keep it and make it work.  


i know what i did in the past and i know what not to do in the future.  i love where i am in life and i love who i am sharing it with.  life isnt always about hoping for the next big thing or wishing for something bigger.  it is about appreciating what/who you have right now.  


bigger isnt always better.   the grass isnt always greener.  and opportunities dont always present themselves.  sometimes you have to make them happen.  


i love my family.  i love who i have grown to be.  i love being a mom.  i love being a wife.  i love life.  


xoxo


Katie

New Beginnings... Sad Goodbyes...

Today is Monday, August 8th, 2011.  The girls and I are leaving the country, Germany bound in 2 days (August 10th for those of you who are lost).  Today was bittersweet.  I woke up- so excited... knowing I can now say "WE LEAVE THIS WEEK!!!"  Everything was going great.  I started packing and getting everything in order...  


Then we had dinner with Doug and Renee (every Monday- today was no exception).  It was sad, but I tried not to let it show.  I kept thinking, this is the last family dinner we will have here for a while.  Kinda sucked b/c I've been doing the family dinner thing now for like ohhhhhhh......  17-18 months now...  every week!  So it was sad for me.  But we told everyone bye...  Doug and Renee we will see tomorrow, so it wasn't too bad (yet).  


Next we went over to my friend's Dave and Tori's to say bye and pick up some clothes.  Well I was fine until we had to leave.  I gave hugs, was pouty...  But no tears yet.  Then we walked out the door and i had to turn back.  I just wanted one more hug!  I couldn't help but cry.  These are 2 of my best friends...  I don't make friends well.  I mean I am social and all and I get along with almost everyone...  But a FRIEND is hard to find.  And I don't have many at all.  So it hurts when you have to leave them...


And it hurts to have to leave a family I have grown so close to.  I love my inlaws and inlaw grandparents.  From day one, I felt accepted...  I felt a warmth with both sides of Paul's family- I didn't think I could feel (being that they aren't actually related to me).  But I do.  


His grandparents (both sides) are awesome.  I love to just sit and talk to them about anything, coin collections, weather, baking, religion ;), future, etc.  It's always great to spend time with them.  


His parents, both sides, are just always there like real parents.  No matter what- they would bend over backwards to help in any way...  From camping trips to weekly dinners, to opening up their home to let me and the kids stay while we wait to leave to advice to anything... They have been there to help us.


And then we have the siblings...  I wasn't as close to them as I would like to have been... But non the less, we all had our moments- good or bad or somewhere in between...  All in all, Paul has some pretty amazing sisters and a great brother!  They are all very unique in their own ways and it was great to see that and learn to understand their personalities. Though at times (early on) I may not have understood why things were happening like they were, in the end (I think) for the most part- we all are on even keel and hopefully have a better understanding for each other.  I know I do and I also have alot more respect certain situations now.  "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink..."  I guess I was trying to drown my horse in the beginning...  Didn't work too well.  But I didn't kill him...  So we will see :)


Now I am thinking about tomorrow.  FML.  I have to say goodbye to more family and my other 2 best friends- Jen and Sam.  Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to go, but I just wish I could bring everyone along for the ride lol.  I am gonna miss everyone.  


Change happens...  People come in and out of your life for a reason...  And it isn't going to stop here.  It's part of the military life...  It's a love/ hate relationship at all times!  


You know, it is so funny....  Thinking back- when I got orders to Utah- I was so pissed.  I cried, I yelled, I was just beside myself...  I put all East coast bases and 5 overseas ones...  and I got UTAH.  And now looking back, it was one of my best bases.  


I know some people hate it.  But for me, I enjoyed it.  I enjoyed being a UDM (unit deployment mngr), I enjoyed UDM central, I enjoyed MOST of the people (minus a MXG MAJOR and a 388 OSS SMSgt- but I won't name names...), I enjoyed baking all the time for my work posse, and I enjoyed being great at my job- being the go to person for alot of stuff...   I enjoyed my time at Hill AFB....  No, I'll correct myself...  I enjoyed the people I met at Hill AFB and I enjoyed the mountains, lakes and scenery....  Not the BASE itself.  It needs a leadership makeover...  


I vote to make my old SQ CC to skip all ranks and just go to General level.  He was the only one I ever felt like I could rely on, who had my back and who was the best LEADER in my entire AF career.  He would make sh!t happen if he had the higher rank to make changes himself (without asking others).


Anyways, I am kinda blabbering now.  IDK, I'm gonna miss this place.  All in all I haven't been here (in Utah) long- just 26 months, but in that time, I have inherited an amazing addition to my family (Paul's side), some amazing, lifelong friends, fell in love with this state and here I met the love of my life.  These last 2 years have been life changing... All for the better!   I love you all (Sam & Jen, Tori & Dave, Megan, Sean, Kyle & Alanna, my UDMs, my old CC, my old superintendent, my Chaplin, Patti & Curt, Doug & Renee, Carolyn & Bruce, Linda & Dutch...  Not to mention my family :) Dusty & Gary, Lance, Kelly, Momo, Dad, Mom, Aunt Pat & Uncle Donnie, Jason & Susan & Andrew)  If I missed anyone, I'm sorry- It's late and I'm rambling lol.  Goodnight!  


See you on the flip side of the globe!  


Add on skype- BELLA42182


HUGS! XOXOXO


Katie

FRIENDS AND FAMILY...  WE WILL MISS YOU! 

MANY MEMORIES...  LOTS OF LOVE...

Giving Back...

So today was an amazing day!  Today was my Squadron’s 1^st day volunteering at St. Anne’s Shelter in Ogden Utah.  We sponsored a day (1^st Tues each month) to volunteer to serve lunches to men, women and families in need. 

We had 8 (including me) sign up to go!  Some had volunteered before and some were new.  Myself, being a veteran of volunteering, I still get butterflies before going!   I don’t know why, maybe b/c the kids and families situations are hard to see (b/c I think of my own kids), maybe b/c I don’t want them to think I’m doing this as a chore- I want them to know I WANT to be here, or maybe it b/c seeing the overall situation makes me think of my family history and how my parents were once (many times over, actually) in these same situations…  But regardless, I get butterflies initially and then after a bit, they subside.

St. Anne’s today was a little different.  At least for me, it was.  The day started like any other, filling out paperwork (where would the world be without mounds of paperwork?) and taking a tour of the facility.  Overall St. Anne’s does a good job of trying.  They aren’t “funded”.  They work off of grants and donations only!  It costs upwards of $500,000 a year to keep this shelter open!  It houses about 64 men, half as many women and has 4 family rooms which at any one time- accommodates up to 3 moms and 5 kids!  They are very strict against alcohol/drug use (screen people if needed).  And when at bed capacity- they have folks sleeping on  mats in the lobby, dining area, pretty much wherever they can find a spot!

They serve lunch daily to approx. 140-175 people, folks that stay there (resident= 5 days or longer) are set up with a counselor, job placement, chores, etc!  They have minimum in house security, 17 cameras on site to help monitor the residents and the males/women are separated  for living arrangements.   Each floor (men’s and women’s) is equipped with 2 washers and 2 dryers and just enough blankets and towels for daily use (they must wash daily).  The food stock is decent, but the stock pile of baby items is extremely low (diapers mainly size 5, baby clothes and baby items), and they could definitely use more linens!

After the tour we started serving lunch!  Minestrone soup, chili mac, chili verde, carrots, a pastry, fresh and canned fruit with apple juice!  I like to try and make a joke or make folks laugh when they come thru the line…  Tends to put a smile on some faces…  This time was no different!  The serving was going great!  I served chili mac with a smile!  Then after the 1^stround, I decided to let another serve and I went over to be “The Enforcer” , which is just someone who stands at the door and watches for fights and tries to break them up.  Me, “The Enforcer”!  Really?  LOL, it was quite a site to see.  I’m over there making macho man poses and people are laughing at me.  But hey- made them laugh, right?  Then I pretended to be “bulked” with my arms and shoulders cocked out and my back slightly arched- again funny.  And one guy says- “you a killa- I can see it” LOL- awkward?!?!  After my poses, it got quite,  Then a fight kinda started to flare….  What did “The Enforcer” do?  Ran to get real security!  LOL.  He breaks it up and calms everything!  Then we are back to serving and listening to the radio…  What song comes on?  “Proud to be an American”…  And we are all in uniform!  Well, the radio gets cranked up and after the song ended (and some even earlier in the day), people were coming up just thanking us, praising us and just loving the fact that we were helping them and we are serving our country.  It was pretty humbling and- there were a couple misty eyes in the room (mine being one)… 

Anyways, as the serving went on and the line died down, we cracked jokes and talked with folks.  A few guys tried to hit on us 5 girls and 1 actually tried to advance on me…  AWKWARD!  Older guy- his line- “Can I be your slave?  I would do ANYTHING you wanted!”.  My comeback- “Isn’t that what my fiancé is for?”  He said “Touché” and walked off with a grin on his face.  Funny!  One guy decided he was a magician and showed us how a quarter could come out of his stomach- through his belly button….  And yes, he pulled his shirt up and showed all of us!  Hmmmm….  Ok.  One lady couldn’t resist showing us the most amazing skull hologram sunglasses she found!  They were pretty snazzy!  Then as we were leaving- she showed us her bike!  WTF….  This bike was awesome!  Way better than my $96 Wal-Mart bike…  hmmm….  Anyways, there were quite a few characters and some very nice, appreciative people!

All in all, I came out of there wanting to do more…  I came out of there appreciative of my family… I came out of there humbled and grateful for what I have.  My aunt always told me growing up- “when you think you have it bad, know there are folks out there- worse off and with less- that make it every day”.  I try to think of that when I get down.  But today…  Today was one of those days that slaps you in the face and says “Be thankful!”  It doesn’t always have to be Thanksgiving to be thankful!  Take a look around, look at what you have…  And appreciate it… Love your family, your kids, make time for the things that matter….  Life is too short and you never know what tomorrow holds!  In this economy and world, one day you might have a job… The next you might not… 

I feel blessed…  I feel loved…  I am thankful!

Katie

When the Mom Role is Flipped...

Well, I started coming down with a cold yesterday.  Yay.  I only get sick with a cold once a year...  It decided to hit me now.  Ugh.  Well, the girls and I relaxed last night and watched Despicable Me (super cute btw) and after it was 830pm.  Just in time for their bed time.  And I decided to call it a night too.  I can't remember the last time I went to bed at 830!  But it was a great feeling. 

So anyways, I must have woken Emily up around 2am with my sneezing and coughing (it's always worse at night).  B/C she comes in and nudges me and says (with her eyes half sleepy), "mommy, are you feeling better yet?"  I tell her no I'm not, Mommy doesn't feel good at all.  She says, "I know.  I can make you better".  I tell her I'll be fine and to go back to bed.  I thought she went back to bed, but she didn't.  She comes back a few minutes later with orange juice and wakes me up again.  She says " Mommy, orange juice makes you better, I got you some."  It was the sweetest thing!  (remember it is like 2am!) So she crawls in bed with me and sings the song I usually sing to her, "you are my sunshine"  I sing "You are my Emmy".  She sang "You are my Mommy".  It was so sweet. 

I get up this morning and go to make my coffee and see she left the OJ in the middle of the kitchen floor and the dishwasher open from where she grabbed the cup (thank goodness they were clean!). 

I was cute how she was re-enacting what I do when they are sick.  Really cute :)  Can't wait til they get older and can cook :) ha! 

I love being a mommy!

xoxo
Katie

Sucess! 8 lbs gone!!! 22lbs more to go!

So it has been 1 week since I started the HCG diet.  Last Saturday was my 1st weigh in before I started anything...  My weight if you remember was 190.8.  Well this am, I am weighing in at 182.8! That is a loss of 8 lbs in 1 week (that includes my 2 gorge days!).  I am feeling great!  I can already see a difference in my waist and my jeans are fitting looser and better!!!  I am excited and so motivated to stay on it! at this rate I hopefully can hit my goal weight in a month!

The girls have been a great help!  Madison has been learning in school about healthy stuff (food, exercise, etc) and she is a big motivator.  I was pre packaging my food for the week and she comes up to me and offers to help and says, "I'm glad you wanna be healthier mom, that means you will live longer and be around longer and that makes me happy".  I felt so awesome in that moment!

Anyways, this isn't gonna be long, Madison has her cheerleading today! 

xoxo

Katie

I found this pic and it just speaks to how I am feeling!

The Skinny Person Inside Wants Out!

 I hate to put my weight here, but it's for accountibility sake...  I weighed in at 190.8.  I have been 185-195 on and off for about 18 months.

Ok, so this is what like day... Lemme look... The start of Day 4 on my HCG thing.  The first 2 days (Sat and Sun) I ate a lot just like I was supposed to.  So anyways, usually (people at work say anyways) you gain a pound or so.  Well, I lost .6 lbs.  Anyways, that was cool.  So you weigh in everyday and today, Tuesday, at like 445, I weigh in and.... I am 186.2 lbs!!!  Yay!  That's a total loss in just a couple days of 4.6 lbs!  I was super shocked!  But the avg loss in 1 cycle is like 20-30 lbs! 

So I've always seemed to have an issue with weight, at least in my mind.  Even before kids, I saw myself as heavy.  It hasn't always been the best of times for me and I look at clothes thinking, wow that's cute and then I try it on (in a size I think will fit) and I look like I just put on a shirt from Baby Gap!  Jeans that are usually "my size" I can't get past my hips and if I can, then they are too big in the waist.  Ugh.  I am just tired of not feeling comfortable in my own body.  I don't like what I see in the mirror and I wanna be healthy.  I don't want to worry about if someone is making a joke about me, like we all seem to do when we see someone in clothes that they shouldn't be wearing. 

I like me, I just am not so happy with most of my body.  But that's ok.  I am not whining about it, I am doing something about it.  With this program and light exercise (you aren't supposed to work out heavy), I am soon gonna let this skinny girl outta this blubbering body lol.

Now I say that and I don't want any of you thinking I am going to or want to shrink to be stick thin.  No.  I love my curves, I love feeling like a woman (not a barbie doll) and my goal weight is 160.  Pre-kid I weighed around 145ish, so, just a little above that and I think I will still look healthy, look like a mom and have my curves that (to me) are the defining factor! 

So another day down...  More blog to come soon!
xoxo

Katie