My Dream in Life...

So, a lot of people say a dream is a dream, something you wish upon a star at night and *if you're lucky* it comes true.  I say fooey!  A dream is another word for a goal and for a goal, you must put in hard work, be dedicated and sometimes there will be some tears, but more importantly- it will all be worth it when you reach that goal.

My goal in life is simple: to bring out the best in people...  Whether it is my family, friends or a stranger.  I want to make a positive impact on others.  Yes I have goals for my family, being a wife and mom, but I also have career goals.  And these goals are not just some arbitrary dreams.  I will make them my reality.

So what is my goal, my dream, my "calling" if you will?  I love people, I love helping, I love giving back.  I try to do as much as I can because I can.  I don't do it for the kudos, I don't do it to be recognized, I don't do it for any self gratification, I do it because I hate it when others say "well SOMEONE should..... blah".  Well you are that SOMEONE, I am that SOMEONE and it is time to make a difference and give back.  This world is filled with "takers", we need some "givers", some people to remind others that it isn't about the ONE, it is about us ALL.  We all coexist together, so let's make the most of it.

I want to run/open a homeless shelter.  I decided this weekend I wanted to narrow that focus, initially at least, and focus on homeless families.  There are many of you who view the homeless as "moochers" sucking the taxpayers money, as leeches on society, as people begging for handouts.  If you are that person, please remove my name from your friends list.  I have spent the last 2 years researching and focusing on those in NEED...not want, not the government welfare recipients who collect food stamps but drive escalades and buy lobsters with government aid...  Those in TRUE NEED are the ones who NEED government help, but the majority do not receive it!  Those in NEED are wanting a better life, but are just stuck.  Those in NEED of mental health programs due to PTSD (old vets) but have no idea where to begin.  THAT'S who I want to help!

I believe there are the few bad apples, the moochers... But I believe even more that most of the homeless or those on the brink of homelessness, want to do better, they want to be contributing members of society.  The more people who are contributing, the better we ALL are.

In my research, I have found that homeless families make of about 1/3 of the nation's homeless population and of that 1/3, about 50-55% are not sheltered due to lack of units.  Most units are based for "individuals" and not set up to accommodate families.  This leaves children and babies on the streets, exposed to disease and illness... This means kids are missing school if they are even enrolled! This means insurmountable stressors on the family and on the children which causes mental health issues, developmental delays, behavioral issues, etc.  Our children should not live like this.

Homelessness happens for many reasons.  Most may think it was due to irresponsibility on the parent's part.  Well over 80% of homeless families' are headed by women.  Of that 80+%, over 50% are running from domestic violence and have no where to go.  Other reasons for homelessness are due to loss of a job, draining of savings due to the recession and the economy, and health and medical bills.  These reasons for homelessness could happen to any one of us!

America has become so self centered, so individualistic, so ME, ME, ME.  What can I get out of it?  I agree the government takes more than it gives...  And I am not asking for federal mandates or a completely socialistic government.  But I do think it is our job, as HUMANS, to WANT to help others.  I don't understand how people don't want to help bring others up, empower them, push them to do better...  I am not talking about money, though that helps... I am talking about compassion and empathy.  I am talking about MAKING time for your family to volunteer and help in your community.  Everyone is busy, but if you WANT to do something, you will find a way.  I WANT people to WANT to help!  It benefits all of us for people to be healthy because then there is less risk of us getting sick. It benefits us for people to be educated because that helps our country's innovation and keeps us on par with the global economy.  It helps us to get people off the streets because it means less tax money for programs.  It helps everyone to us to help everyone!

My goal with this shelter is to not just create an overnight sleeping place, but to offer classes like parenting to help parents understand the impact this experience is having on the kids, finance/budget classes to help them understand better ways of being financially responsible, job placement/skills training to help them learn a new skill for a job or form ties to local employers to help them get jobs, group counseling sessions to help them see others and hear others and maybe it will help build a network, and kid friendly events such as story time or movie nights.

The shelter would have quiet rooms for children to read and do homework.  In my research, it was noted many times that kids fall behind in school when their family is homeless.  They report not having a quiet place to accomplish work or avoid the commotion of the adults.  It would also have daycare set up where a parent can drop children off to go to interviews or for work.  This would have to be verified by the interviewer/employer by a signature, stamp, etc so the system is not taken advantage of.

We would also offer fresh fruits and nutritious snacks (even if I have to make them!) because all families were reported as being under/malnourished!  This is not ok for children especially!

We would have a loaner closet for "business" attire clothing (retrieved from thrift stores and donations) that members could "sign out" when needed.

Weekly counseling and psych appointments would be offered (psychiatrist willing to donate time and do volunteer work).  Many families battle mental health issues, especially mothers.  By strengthening the psyche, it aids in rebuilding the self.

Of course there will be milestone dates, rules and such that members need to meet in order to stay.  It will be a drug free/alcohol free facility with testing.  It will also have available jobs within the shelter that members can be employed to.

These are all ideas Paul and I have been tossing around.  And I think we have a great start.  This program we want to build isn't a forever program, people will have to meet milestones and rules in order to stay.  They will have a target date to be self sufficient again.  And they will come out of it stronger.  I know they will.  This program/shelter is about empowering people, believing in them and making them believe in themselves.  Truly believing in someone is the best medicine for this situation...

To everyone who reads this, I hope it plants a seed in your mind to help others- especially by offering your time.  Money is money... It buys things, yes, but offering your time shows you care and it means something to you.  I would ask you to plan one Saturday for 4 hours...  Find a local soup kitchen or shelter and go volunteer.  Don't just go through the motions, talk to the people like they are PEOPLE, get to know their stories, understand them.  You will come out of it thinking differently...  Involve your older kids, too.  Build their humanity and compassion.  Let's make this world a better place...  We can do it... One person at a time...

Love to all,
Katie <3

Cultural Humility... What is it?

So in my my classes, I have come to realize so many things.  One important thing to me is accepting, loving and finding worth in all people.  Yes, there may be a few bad apples in the bunch, but that shouldn't drive a stereotype about all people or a majority within that area.  

I found this video.  It is about 30 minutes in length, but the first 60 seconds encapsulate everything that I have learned and want to incorporate in my life- the meaning of CULTURAL HUMILITY.   The rest of the video provides examples and addresses issues that arise with this subject.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaSHLbS1V4w
What I have learned from my classes is that every person is unique, with their own experiences to offer in life.  We are all multi-dimensional with our own experiences, our own heritage, and our own ideals and beliefs.  Each one of us, no matter race, gender, disability, or privilege has something to offer and every one of us can learn something from any single person within society- regardless of the above factors.

To be humble, to experience humility is to acknowledge that there is room for self-growth and improvement; that there are people who are more powerful than you, educated than you, or know more than you; it is to know that other people have the capability and capacity to do something.  It also requires the realization and understanding that others (perhaps of the opposite gender, race, or with a disability) are just as capable as you are.  But to exert your power over them (or others)- as in dominating them- is to keep the vicious cycle going that perpetuates inequality.

For cultural humility, it is all this, just on a grander scale.  We need to understand that others play just as valuable a role and are just as important to the global society as you and I are.  We need to do our part and help sensitize the world (starting with our communities) again to have empathy, understanding and compassion for everyone.  To take the time to embrace diversity and not shun it; to grasp critical thinking and have them self reflect and then mend their ways to help them feel and understand.

Some say one person cannot change the world, but with one person you can change someone’s world.  And by changing one person’s world at a time, we can impact the bigger picture.

Katie 

People Always Ask... What Does a Social Science Major Do???

Good morning.  I thought I would start today on a positive note talking about my very exciting milestone approaching- my graduation from college!  Whew!  I am earning my degree in Social Science, focusing on Sociology and Psychology.  I am graduating with high honors (woohoo) and a 3.85 GPA.  


So on to the question I ALWAYS get asked..  What Does a Social Science Major Do??? First, we need to understand Social Science and how it affects us.  Social science encompasses a vast group of topics, so many that almost every area of our lives can somehow be touched by one of the sciences or another (or many at once).  

Social science, as a whole, deals with people and people fascinate me; from the decisions, how things manifest differently inside based on circumstances and also how resilient people can be. 


There are many areas we social scientists can go into: economics, anthropology, gerontology, sociology, education, geography, history, law, linguistics, psychology, communication studies, social work, informational science, criminology, business studies and political science (and still more to name!)...  


On top of that, there are MANY, MANY additional fields of study (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_science#Additional_fields_of_study).  




I am choosing to take the social work route and focus on families and children.  I am intrigued with the areas of sociology and psychology.  I couldn’t chose between which I enjoyed more, so I declared my degree in social science, as a whole, to get the best of both worlds (group vs. individual functionality). 

Sociologists study people and society, relationships, culture and behavior.  Individuals are highly influenced and impacted by society and groups (sociological); understanding the relationships can help us understand more on an individual level as well (psychological). 

With a Social Science background, I am looking forward to attending the University of Southern California’s Master of Social Work program.  I like this program because it offers various fields to specialize in such as families and children, health, community organization, planning and administration (COPA), and offer sub concentration areas in military social work and school settings. 

I am drawn to the families and children concentration.  I hope to initially begin work in the counseling/problem solving areas in schools, juvenile programs, or family settings.  Coming from an abusive, drug addicted home, I have and am still overcoming issues.  Growing up without a solid support system and without someone to talk to really hindered my interpersonal relationships as an adult and has degraded my sense of truly understanding childhood (since I didn’t have one).  This is something my family and I are working on and have been successful with the proper support.  I want to offer the support I never had to those who need it, whether it be in an office setting, school setting, urban areas, you name it- I want to be there.  

As some of you know, my goal in life is to run a homeless shelter.  This sounds daunting, but I have volunteered at many and there is one I particularly liked, St. Anne’s Center in Odgen, UT.  This center was not just a drug-free homeless shelter for individuals and families, but it also had a job training and placement program.  If you didn’t “pull your weight”, maintain sobriety and also maintain a job, you were asked to leave the program.  If you did your duties and job, they assisted you with understanding finances and even had connections with low income housing units in the area and would help place you in a home. 

This type of program offers much more than just a free meal and a roof; it engages people and helps them get back on their feet to become contributing members of society.  Being able to contribute to your family and society allows the individual to positively influence the economy, which in turn helps everyone.  These are the types of programs we need more of and I hope to one day be able a part of it.   

So, what can I do with my degree, you ask... The possibilities are endless...  Learning is constantly on-going...  People will always be people and society will always influence people...  There will always be a need to us to study ourselves!  

Cheers,

Katie

Controlling My Control.

Well, these last couple months (especially the last few weeks) have been very eye opening for me.  I have had a couple of AH HA moments, epiphanies, if you will... Please bear with this long post and read it to the end...  Many of you will be glad you did..

First, I am not perfect, I am human.

With that being said, many of you who know me, see me all put together in a polished package, doing my thing, being a mom, student, wife, like I have it all together...  Well--- newsflash--- I don't.  I liked to think I had it all together, I liked to think- yeah my life is pretty perfect, when it isn't...  Not because of anyone else, but because of myself...  Let me explain...

**Disclaimer** I am NOT looking for a pity party, I am not looking for the "oh I'm so sorry" comments, I am simply stating items as a matter of fact...

I grew up in an alcoholic & drug abusive home, filled with physical, verbal, emotional and even some sexual abuse.  I learned very quickly that manipulation can "get you what you want" and had to grow up very fast to look after my siblings.  I don't remember much about childhood, except the abuse, being taken away from my mother (while dad was in jail) and entering a foster home for 3 weeks (until he got out) with my sister at the age of 10.

After that time, we lived with my father, where everything continued the same path until I was 14.  My aunt and grandmother took me and my sister in, provided us with the guidance, morals, respect and love they could.  They did a great job and without them- IDK where I would be...

At the age of 15 1/2, I decided I needed structure, more than what my aunt and grandmother were giving me.  I decided I would join the military.  The sense of discipline, self respect, structure appealed to me and I took the plunge.

But all the mental and emotional effects of the abuse had already taken it's toll on my mental state...  Growing up in a home with no control, no sense of safety, no sense of self worth, no rules, nothing left me feeling very, very vulnerable.  So, besides joining the military and trying to find my way, what did I do?  I started controlling the things I had the power to control and if I didn't have the power- I would use manipulation to wrangle it the way I wanted (another form of control).  This worked really well and I became extremely good at it.  So good, in fact, controlling became second nature.

Honestly, (and I have never admitted this to anyone until now- well it really dawned on me today) I had been blaming the end of my 1st marriage on many things, everything except what the real issue was...  And I didn't know what that issue was until now- control.  See my ex and I grew up in a similar lifestyle with the alcohol and the abuse with his father (not mother)...  And in acknowledging my control issues today made me realize we were one in the same (sort of) in the sense we were both fighting for control, just in different ways.  I can't speak for him, but on my end- my need to control drove us apart and ultimately helped end our marriage (wasn't 100% but probably 80%).

Now, fast forward to present day, mostly the same issues on my end- I like to control and when I can't or things feel like they are spiraling downward, what happens?  I get stressed, panic, freak out, yell, get irritable, manipulate, and try to control my control even more- with it continuing on the downward path.

Now, I am not a bad person, bad mom or bad wife.  I am good at all of those- I just have never understood (until recently) that my issue is CONTROL or losing control.  And not understanding that has been extremely hard b/c I always just thought "something is just wrong with me"...  When in fact- I AM A NATURAL PRODUCT OF HOW I GREW UP...

People chose to handle things many different ways...  Some people with similar situations may turn to substance abuse, others may be harder on themselves, many will use coping mechanisms to try and deal with their pain, emotions, issues... I developed a sense to control... Control everything around me, control others, be a part of many things to try and help control, I do many things myself because I don't want to hand over the reigns to others... Not b/c they aren't capable, but because I want the satisfaction of feeling the control.  Sounds pretty morbid :(

I am not the only person like this...  I used to blame it on - oh I am just a type A personality...  When in reality, my personality and mental state are a direct outcome of my upbringing and how I chose (knowingly or not) to deal with life...

I have come to the realization now- this isn't ok.   Spazzing out over things I cannot control isn't ok.  Yelling at the kids or Paul because they didn't do something the "right way" (Katie's way) isn't right.  Focusing more on everything and everyone rather than myself- isn't good.

Madison left to go stay with her dad for 7 months mainly because we fought all the time...  Why?  Because she was "defying" me.  She was argumentative and pushed against things...  Not that everything she said or did was "wrong" (sometimes it was), but sometimes it was just a different way of thinking or doing or whatever and it didn't line up with my way- so we would start fighting...  Where did that get me?  With my girls split (Emily stayed with me and Madison in GA) and me left wondering WTF?! (and letting Madison go was one of the hardest things I have ever done- it was in a sense giving up the control.)

Paul and I are an incredible couple.  We really are.  We share a love that is beyond anything I could ever imagine...  One problem...  You guessed it.. My controlling-ness is creeping barging in...  Nothing major is going on, but enough for us both to notice and see this isn't how we want to be.

Well guess what %^&^!  It was me all along...  Really...  I can't blame other people because I need to take ownership of my faults.  I have tried in the past to take ownership and thought by saying "I'm sorry" I was doing just that, but it wasn't.  Taking true ownership of the problem requires you to understand the problem in which you have...  I didn't- until now.  Until this day- March 18, 2014...
And I can't say people haven't told me or tried...  Paul and my ex both have told me...  Numerous times each...  But I just didn't understand the "what" part of what my issue was...  Having someone TELL you what YOUR issue is isn't nearly as humbling as the ah ha moment you get when you realize exactly what they mean...

You may or may not relate.. You may or may not understand...  It isn't about judging, it is about realizing that not everyone handles adversity the same, not everyone copes the same...  People are unique in how they process information and how they chose (consciously or unconsciously) to channel that information...

We are all just people, humans...  Capable of errors and full of imperfections...

With this, I hope my close friends and family will support me in my journey to the life where I don't feel the need to control every.single.thing.in.sight....  It will be a bumpy road, I know...  but understanding the problem, I can now fix it...

Love Always,
Katie

The Meaning of Christmas...

So since the holidays have passed, I've been thinking about what I could have done differently, had i been stateside.  One of my favorite things to do (as those of you who know me know), I love to volunteer at shelters, animal shelters, soup kitchens, anywhere I feel like i can bring a smile to someone's face and help them.

So I came up with an idea.  Since we are headed back stateside in July, we will be there for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year.  I know this is a time for family, friends and gifts.  But the real meaning if often lost, and I'm not talking about religiously.  Because there are so many religious denominations all over, that celebrating and emphasizing just ONE out of all of them, just doesn't see right to me.  But, one thing almost ALL of them have in common is LOVE.

The holiday seasons brings a sense of love and togetherness and that often gets lost in the commercialism the media and companies have put on the season.  So why not fight back to bring love and togetherness back to the center of the season?

My idea is simple.  Not to completely boycott Christmas, but to significantly scale it down.  Santa can still bring his 2 gifts (though not expensive).  But family gifts, we can put the money we would have spent on gifts towards something to help others.  I am thinking about helping those in need.  Not only could we volunteer on the holidays in the soup kitchens or shelters, but why not give them gifts?  

Why not make backpacks for the homeless?  What would you make them with?  Well the thrift stores have backpacks for $1-$3, you can fill with non perishables you buy on sale, some hygiene items and a thrift store blanket.  You could do all this for under $20 per back pack.  We usually spend about $500-$600 on gifts for both girls, so that would mean about 25-30 backpacks.

Or maybe just buying new clothing/toys on sale, wrapping them and then taking them to a shelter?  When stores are transitioning between seasons, you can pick up some clothing and items and rock bottom prices!  You can even find new with tag type items at thrift stores and consignment shops!

Some of you may think I'm crazy for even entertaining the idea of no presents for kids on Christmas, but Christmas isn't about gifts- at least not material gifts really- it's about love for one another.  And by helping out those in need, you are showing them they still matter, they are still part of our society, they are still loved.  Many homeless people feel society has forgotten about them, and in many cases it is true.  But why not just do something that will make an impact?  Even if it is one time?

Like I said, this is an idea I am toying with.  I have wanted to scale down Christmas and focus more emphasis on giving back for a while now, but never knew how or what do put our energy towards...  But I think gifts for others is a good way to start.

I saw this weekend a "pay it forward" event where people would do something nice in hopes the next person would do a nice act for another.  This is a great idea and if everyone did this, every day- one nice thing- think of how much of a positive impact that would make in our communities!  Little things go a long way!

Think about it.

Katie :)

Transitioning From Germany to the States...

So as our last few months in Germany dwindle down, I am kinda sad to leave.  As many of you know, we have been stationed at Ramstein AB, Germany since August 2011.  Upon arriving, I was quite scared, hesitant and worried.  It took me a good 8 months to get adjusted mostly and it wasn't until about 18 months in, I felt comfortable.

Culture shock hits some people hard, while others don't experience much of it.  Boy did I experience it!  I remember around month 3 being in the bathroom getting ready, being so upset b/c i couldn't understand anything, I was scared to drive, I just "hated" it.  I blurted out to Paul "Why can't everyone just be normal and speak English?!"  His response... "Well, that's very American of you, Katie.  Maybe the reason is b/c you are in GERMANY and it's THEIR language".  It was then I decided this was going to be an amazing assignment or the worst; it all depended on me and my attitude.  To experience another culture, you really have to open your mind, step outside your comfort zone and have patience.  You cannot enjoy any place if you are stuck in the "American way" mentality.

So I started forcing myself out more, driving more in the surrounding communities, shopping on the economy, getting the food sale papers in German and teaching myself a few words every week.  Though I cannot speak many words (enough to find a bathroom, order a couple food items and give a greeting), I can read enough to get by and that's ok with me!

There are many things I will miss about Germany and Europe:  traveling, bakeries, round-a-bouts, driving, cheap,fresh and organic produce, countrysides and rolling hills, small towns, Christmas Markets and churches, Ryanair, T€di, Salvatore's salad dressing, cheap and AMAZING WINE, and walking my kids to/from school everyday.  I will expand upon a few of these things.

TRAVELING

Paul and I decided we wanted to travel extensively while we were here.  1- b/c it is a super central location for everything- SEE

2- ugh it's EUROPE!  3- b/c we didn't want to be "those" families that sit at home, on base, week after week, wondering what happened to the last 3 years and have no experience to talk about when get older!  So, we made plans to travel, made lists of places to see and saved for each trip!  With this duty station, here are a list of places we have been.  Paul in ( ) denotes his lucky and awesome work trips or Katie with her girl's trips!  

• Brussels and Brugge, Belgium
• Zandvoort, Holland
• Paris (one more trip planned April 2014)&Metz, France (along with small shopping towns on the borders)
• (many places in) Germany including Berlin (planned for March 2014)
• Venice, Italy
• Dubrovnik, Croatia
• Olympia, Greece
• Istanbul, Turkey
• Palma de Mallorca and Barcelona, Spain (Katie)
• Doolin, Tralee, Castleisland, Dingle, Glenbeigh, Cahersiveen, Portmagee, Ballinskelligs, Kenmare, Killarney and Killarney Nat'l Park all in Ireland
• Israel (Paul)
• Poland (Paul)
• Seychelles Island (Paul)
• London, England (Paul)
• Prague, Czech Republic (planned for Feb 2014)
• Lithuania/Estonia (Paul)
• And hopefully I can get to Amsterdam, too before we leave!

BAKERIES  

German Bäckeri- Barbarossa

Bakeries here are like no other!  It is very common when visiting France to see people walking around eating an entire baguette!  Yes, the 18" long skinny bread loaf!  They just eat them like a snack!

And I understand why now- b/c they are DELISH!  Bakeries here (Germany, France, Belgium that I have experienced) produce some of the best breads and pastries I've ever tasted!  Particularly France!  Their macaroons are TO DIE FOR and I'm not talking about coconut things, I'm talking about delectable, sweet, little sandwich cookie things with a slightly crunchy outer shell and then the entire thing just melts in your mouth!

Best French Bakery- Paul

And everything is so cheap!  Fresh pretzels (big ones) are 29 euro cents which is about 35¢, fresh loaves of bread are about $1, pasties range from 30¢ to $3 depending on what it is and how large.  Coffee here is robust, clean and simply the best I've ever had, too!


ROUND-A-BOUTS and DRIVING

After driving in Germany for the last couple years, returning to the States and driving scares me.  Germans are so much more cognizant and responsible!  They have to attend a driving school for a year before getting their license!  The autobahn scared me at first b/c of the speed.  Now, there are speed limits, especially thru towns and cities like this it means- In a city/town the speed limit it 50 KPH (about 30 MPH), outside the town/city it is 100 KPH (about 60 MPH) and on the autobahn (denoted by the blue road symbol) the limit is 130 KPH (about 76 MPH).  BUT.....

When you do see this sign or a sign like this with numbers and lines thru it, that means there is NO SPEED LIMIT.  Cars will fly by you like you are sitting still when you are actually doing 80 MPH!  I am not one of those who enjoys toying with death via a car accident, so I usually cruise at about 130-140 KPH.

"Other people", I won't name names (**Paul**) like to try giving me a heart attack whenever possible!  There might be visible claw marks in his car...  Memories of some terrifying moments...  I'm only kidding about the claw marks... Not about the moments ;)

Round-a-bouts are amazing!  No stop lights, barely any wait time and you just go with the flow!  So much more efficient than a light or stop sign!!!  

Looks scary, but it's VERY EASY to navigate, unless you visit Paris and decide to drive the Arc de Triomphe round-a-bout... Then you have 5 lanes to navigate thru with tons of cars and double decker buses.  Saw it, never want to do it.  

COUNTRY SIDES AND ROLLING HILLS

Germany isn't super industrialized or over built.  The towns are mostly small, they all have their own town square with a huge, elaborate and beautiful church, there are very few stores (some don't even have a gas station), and their views are beautiful!  Who wouldn't love driving and seeing these views? (Thanks Mr. Mike Mander for your photo, dunno who you are, but love your pic).

And if you think that is nice, just google Mosel Valley, Germany.  There is the "wine" road that goes through all of the wineries here.  The hillsides are covered with vineyards for miles and miles along with castles and cute little towns!  Really amazing!

Christmas Markets in Germany/France are unbelievable!  Words can't even describe how awesome they are!  Christmas in the States feel so commercialized and fake, whereas, Christmas here feels like tradition and magic!  The only way to understand it is to experience it!!!

Trier, Germany

Brugge, Belgium

Strasbourg, France

RYANAIR, T€DI & CHEAP WINE

I paired all of these together b/c they are all super inexpensive, but awesome!  RyanAir is an airline company that is usually really cheap! I'm talking €13 each way trip to Ireland cheap (during non peak season).  Or how about a €12 per person RT ticket to Scotland during non peak season?  Yes please!  You can travel cheap if you know how!  Pack light- mind the carry-on restriction sizes, they are strict.  It isn't a normal carry-on size!  If you have to take a bag, buy the extra bag AT THE TIME YOU BUY YOUR TICKET!  It's €50 then.  Or else at the counter it could be as high at €150!  Wear some items with a Roofus Roo Travel Vest.  Yes it looks silly, but seriously I bought one and saved on my check bag fees b/c I was able to use a small carry-on and this vest :)

T€di is like an amazing dollar store, except with way cooler stuff!  I get wrapping paper there for 55 euro cents (about 73¢) :)  I get earring and jewelry for myself and my kids for 50 euro cents to €2 and if you look you can find really cute stuff!  They have school supplies for cheap and even some nice, big artwork in big, heavy, pretty frames (for around €20-€40)!

Wine...  Mmmmmm.  I'll say it again...

WIIIIINNNNE!  Yummy!  I never really drank wine before, except maybe one of those "boxed" wines 1x a year.  Until I got here.  Holy crap is it good!  First, I could only drink sweet stuff like the Eisweins and Moscatos.  But now, I love me some half dry red wines- not so much the whites (unless it's a good Moscato, then I'll have it).  My favorite so far is what is any Halbtrocken Dornfelder wine.  It's a half dry red wine made from the dornfelder grape, grown here in the Mosel Valley.  So delish, so fragrant it just tantalizes my tastebuds!  

There are so many wines I've tried, I couldn't name them all, but almost any wine here is great!  And the best part is- unlike in the States where "cheap" wine tastes like garbage- you can get amazing wine for around €2-€4, thats like $3-$5!!!!!  Yes PLEASE!  I am trying create a stock pile for our return to the States since I have seen friends posting about $15-$30 bottles tasting like garbage :/  Paul thinks I am crazy, but I don't care!  It is so nice to cook a nice meal while listening to some piano music and drinking my wine!  It's calming, soothing, just makes me feel at ease.  Or just downing a bottle during homework makes it better, too!  JUST KIDDING!  I don't do that :)  

WALKING MY KIDS TO/FROM SCHOOL

I added this to my list b/c I just don't know if i am going to be able to do this at our next base.  I imagine there is a busing system since there is no DoD school on base.  Right now, we live 2 blocks from school.  It takes me 5-6 min to walk them there.  It's nice to walk with them as they hop, dance and sing every morning and then we talk about their day on their way home.  Hopefully, we get this opportunity at our next base, but if not, I am going to miss it!

Our favorite Fall tree/ October 2013

These are just a few of the things I will miss about Germany.  I'm sure there will be more once we leave.

I am excited about "going home", but at the same time hopeful about another overseas assignment... Maybe next time Japan?  :)

Loves to all,
Katie <3

Losing Faith in Society…

It has come to pass that I find myself extremely disappointed in the majority of society.  I should clarify, American society.  Our society (American) is becoming more and more self absorbed, less compassionate, less empathetic with each generation that passes and gets more hateful and mean with each new era of minions. 

Maybe our core is becoming cold due to parents being less involved with kids and more involved with their “toys”? Maybe it is because of the pressure and “mandatory” compliance we (society, media) expect to our social norms? Or maybe is due to some bullshit “pre-disposition” malarkey that is going to make it’s way to the latest edition of the DSM.  It could be one or all of those things… 

But I believe it is simple.  Our society is corroding due to the fact that we have the world at our fingertips if we want it.  We expect, we want, we get, and we are losing the sense of putting in hard work for things, we are losing our basic values and ethics, but most of all we are losing our love for others and ourselves.  

The things we have, the technology that is available, the expectation for our “instant gratification” bucket to be filled, and the overuse and abuse of the right to Freedom of Speech that has lead our society to become visceral, mean, and so inept that we trample over each other and feelings because “we can”.   Freedom of Speech is sacred, I will admit.  But when people use it to say hateful, harsh, and bullying comments...that’s not right.  That is not a right that I fought to protect, that is not a right that—I believe—my husband and our friends are still fighting to protect.  What that is called, ladies and gentlemen, is plain old bullying. 

Being a bully doesn’t just happen in school hallways, recess and playgrounds anymore.  Bullying is taking form in coffee shops, work centers and on good ole social media sites.

Some may say- adults don’t bully, adults just need to stop their whining and grow up and deal with it, adults should be able to take it- they have thicker skin.  Well I’m sorry, I disagree.  Yes our society has become “soft” in many ways, but bullying is just plain mean. 

Some may say its just words, or it’s just a post on FaceBook/Twitter/LinkedIn.  Yeah they are just words, words directed at someone with the intent to hurt, demean, degrade and ultimately inflict an inferior feeling on another person.  That isn’t right.  That’s just hateful.   It wasn’t right in the past and is still isn’t right today.

Mean people just suck.  Mean people are becoming more and more prevalent in our society and their negative attitudes, comments and posts are poisoning the people around us.  Our children see how adults act, react, and listen to their words, tones and inflections.  They learn from us.  So are we teaching them it’s OK to treat another human being like this?  Are we teaching them it’s OK not to value other human beings as equals?  Are we teaching them it’s OK not to care about how others feel and the effect that words can have on someone?  The answer is yes…  And that means we are teaching them all the wrong things about how society should act/be. 

People, I believe, are inherently good.  Those in a scientific field often say people are predisposed to certain things, well- maybe so, but being mean isn’t one of them.  I believe that no matter what- you chose to be a compassionate, loving, empathetic person or you chose to be a mean, negative, hateful person- which sometimes means being a bully, too.  If you are a bully, don’t blame your actions and who you are (or have become) on others, don’t use excuses to try and justify your meanness and don’t blame others because you chose to be mean. 

We, as a society, are losing our sense of humanity and the basic kindness for others.  Being empathetic doesn’t mean you are weak, loving others just because doesn’t mean you’re a sissy; it means you care.  Truly caring about other people—whether you know them or not, whether you agree with their lifestyle or not—is part of what has made our race so unique and wonderful.  

Losing that… regardless of the technology we possess, will mean the end of modern civilization. 

That’s not a joke, that’s not a play on words, that’s the truth.  

When we all stop caring about one another and lose our empathy and humanity, we lose everything and the world will deteriorate into a chaotic mess of self-destructive people. 

The saying I try to live by and try to instill in my children- “Be the change you wish to see in the world” – Gandhi. 

If you don’t like the path you are on, change it.  Don’t make excuses- just do it.  There is enough hate in the world, why not spread a little happiness- be nice. 

Much love, 

Katie