it's hard to think that someone can love you for you and love everything about you- even your flaws... i dont even love my flaws. love to me has been tricky. i have had to learn to love... i had to learn what love really meant. the way i grew up (early) i didnt have alot of that. and i feel it hurt me later b/c i "thought" i knew what love was... when in fact i let infatuation and lust get the best of me.
it has taken me (i feel) a lot longer than most to understand real love. unconditional love. love that means you would give your all for. i mean i feel that for my kids, but i think that is kind of innate and a bond anyways. but to feel a love for someone you willingly had to put effort in to get to know if different.
i can see why there are so many divorces today. i have had my fair share in that arena... but all b/c i didnt know. b/c i went with what i thought i would be happy with. and i didnt follow my heart.
alot of people have questioned, my current relationship (marriage). some early on made jokes, snide comments, even put bets on how long it would last... well... all i can say or do to that is smile and say i finally can say i am in love. i am 150% in love. i know my track record has proven to be rocky and sometimes down right like a loopty loo roller coaster... but it takes alot to get to know one's self enough to let go of everything and let someone in to love you and for you to love them back. whole-heartedly.
people (i was one) tend to hole parts of themselves back b/c they are scare of getting hurt... but in the end thats what hurts themselves... in order to love- you have to let go. give your all. i know some may think taking relationship advice from someone like me (on her 3rd marriage) would be relationship suicide. but i think differently. i have been in bad relationships, decent ones, and "safe" ones. i think i am the perfect person to give advice b/c i have been there. and i now know what it takes to find a good one, keep it and make it work.
i know what i did in the past and i know what not to do in the future. i love where i am in life and i love who i am sharing it with. life isnt always about hoping for the next big thing or wishing for something bigger. it is about appreciating what/who you have right now.
bigger isnt always better. the grass isnt always greener. and opportunities dont always present themselves. sometimes you have to make them happen.
i love my family. i love who i have grown to be. i love being a mom. i love being a wife. i love life.
xoxo
Katie
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